retro-sexual code

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THE RETRO-SEXUAL CODE:

    ·A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

    ·A Retrosexual deals with crap. Be it a flat tire, a break-in at your home or a natural disaster, you deal with it!

    ·A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.

    ·A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.

    ·A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "dealing with crap" portion of The Code.

    ·A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, etc. You are not allowed to see a shrink because daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy "dealing with it." When you screwed up, he "dealt" with you.

    ·A Retrosexual should have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

    ·A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

    ·A Retrosexual may cry but for only limited reasons and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) the death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish and cats do not count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.

    ·A Retrosexual can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Where ever it lands is where he wanted it to land.

    ·A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except anyone of the grades 2nd Lt. or above).

    ·A Retrosexual doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just "deal with it."

I am a Retrosexual. "Deal with it."